The Confounding Concupiscence Enigma
by VeraSorger
Summary: Sheldon is a perfectly logical man, correct? He has no time for romance, right? Well, what happens when Leonard's niece decides he's the perfect person to have a crush on? And who is Howard's new interest? How does science fit in to a situation like this?
1. Which Wonder Woman?

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"That is illogical, Leonard." The tall, disguised geek replied… logically.

"Aw, come on! I agree with Sheldon. What could possibly go wrong at this Sci-Fi convention?" Howard Walowitz asked, straightening his Stormtrooper armor while almost dropping the helmet he was carrying awkwardly. "Lots of hot girls in tight outfits…" He smirked at the rest.

"Many girls?" Raj asked quietly. He pointed out, "You never mentioned many girls. You only said that we would be meeting your niece here."

"See, even Raj has a bad feeling about this." Leonard said, as he squinted his eyes against the bright glare of the sun glinting off of the pavement. He slowed, trailing behind slightly.

Sheldon argued, "Well, what do you suggest? That we skip it? Leonard, we have planned this expedition for a month- I am certainly not going to just go home."

Leonard sighed; there was no way to get around Sheldon when something was 'planned'. He would just have to get over it. Even though the consequences could be dire. A stray thought made him shudder.

"If we are going to do this, then I suggest we hurry." Raj pointed into the distance trying not to blink as the early morning sun hit his eyes.

A large, long, and very packed line of disguised people had already formed in front of the Convention Center. Leonard thought he saw a stray Horta in the mix.

"Oh no." Leonard said, almost whining. "I thought we were early enough! There's got to be over a hundred people here! And this is just the outside!"

"On the contrary; there are approximately 231.2 people outside the building."

"Just because you're dressed as a Vulcan does not mean you need to count the number of people here. And it isn't possible to have 20% of a person." Leonard snapped.

"There is one infant here that I have counted so far, and from its approximate age, divided by the key variable which is standard adult age, I have deduced that he or she is twenty percent of an average adult.

Even Leonard had to concede to sound reasoning. He gave up the point with an impressed nod.

The small group finally reached the line to get in. Sheldon got out his tricorder and started scanning random people. The non-Trekkers looked at him as though he was insane. The obvious Trekkers and Trekkies oohed and aahed over his tricorder or got out their own and scanned him back, as the case was. Sheldon didn't look impressed. Their costumes were not genuine... and the ears were plastic at best.

Leonard stumbled over an overeager person behind him who had smashed into him. He shifted and groaned. "Oh, great. My lightsaber got stuck again!" He reached inside his heavy, woolen robes and tried shifting fabric.

"I told you that you needed to get the genuine lightsaber clip instead of that mockery." Sheldon grimaced in distaste.

"Yes, Sheldon. But the genuine one was $100 dollars! I decided that the $20 dollar one would do."

Sheldon disagreed. "$102.31, Leonard."

Howard snickered. "Oooh! Look at the front of the line. Wonder Woman…" He stared.

"Which one is she dressed as?" Sheldon asked critically.

"Looks like the third, possibly the fifth. Costume looks fairly well done. Of course, she obviously has the body for it." Howard shifted his Stormtrooper armor, making sure the muscle outlines were in the right place. It wouldn't do to show the girl that he didn't have any muscles to speak of. He tried to catch her eye. A hard feat, considering she was standing with her back to him, it failed miserably.

Leonard finally found his lightsaber and pulled it out triumphantly. "I still wish I could have been The Flash."

Raj grinned. "It was my turn, Leonard."

"I know, but it was a way better choice than heavy robes in the summer." He grimaced.

"At least the line is moving faster now." Howard commented. He was still hoping to talk to the Wonder Woman.

"Yeah. Where did your niece say she would meet you?" Raj asked.

"The front entrance in the corner. She said that I would recognize the costume immediately, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. She also…"

"She also what, Leonard?"

Leonard continued uncomfortably. "She expressed a definite interest in meeting you, Sheldon. She's heard of your… reputation."

"Well, of course she wants to meet me. She has obviously heard that I am a better physicist than you and wants to review my work. I must say, I am going to like talking to her. It will be nice to have someone appreciate my work for what it is- a masterpiece." Sheldon didn't look the last bit troubled. Leonard did.

"I'm not sure that's what she meant." He mumbled under his breath.

"Ah, look. We're here now." Howard strode forward and smiled charmingly at the pretty women in the collection booth. "Here you are." He handed her a small roll of cash that the group had pooled together to pay for them all.

"Thanks, go on in." She didn't even glance at him. Howard turned his sights back to the Wonder Woman he'd seen.

The quartet hurried inside the packed entry way.

"Where is she…?" Leonard mumbled to himself, looking around.

"Oh look! Wonder Woman!" Howard exclaimed. "Hey guys, come see how a real man gets a girl." He strode confidently up to the dark haired beauty. "Hello, beautiful. Care for a tour?" He leaned against the wall casually. The others waited a couple of feet away, still searching for Leonard's niece. It had been a while since he'd seen her and he was afraid he wouldn't recognize her.

"Ummm, no thanks. I'm waiting for someone actually." She replied absentmindedly, searching the room with her eyes.

"Oh, but I insist." Howard made another try. He was nothing if not persistent. He leaned forward a little to show increased interest.

"Well, unless you know who I'm looking for, then I'm sorry, but I said I'd stay in the front entryway." She turned to look at him.

"I might know the person you're looking for." Howard grasped at straws now, well aware that he was losing his target.

She looked skeptical, raising her left eyebrow in a move that would make Spock struggle not to feel proud. "Really? You know a man named Dr. Leonard Leakey Hofstadter?"

Howard looked shocked and slightly hopeful of her attention now. "Yeah, actually. He's right behind you, looking for you."

"Really?" She turned around happily and fairly attacked Leonard. "Uncle Leonard! I didn't even see you there!"

Howard was very jealous of the hug that his friend was now getting from a woman dressed as Wonder Woman.

"Hello, Erin. How have you been for the past seven years?" Leonard decided he wasn't all the way comfortable with his niece, that he'd last seen when she was ten, dressed in a very tight outfit, hugging him.

"Well, I've been fine, nothing to speak of really." She pulled away. "Aren't you going to introduce me?" Howard found it interesting that she seemed to be staring calculatingly at one man in particular, but that was impossible. She couldn't have seen Sheldon before now.

"Oh, well, this is Howard, you've met him..." 

Howard bowed. "At your service, fair maiden."

"… and this is Raj, but he can't talk to girls unless he's drunk…"

Raj waved and got a smile in return from Erin.

"… and this… is Sheldon." Leonard cringed.

"SHELDON!" Erin screamed, her suspicions confirmed. "Eeeee! I have wanted to meet you for SO long!" She threw herself at the thin, confused man and hugged herself to him.


	2. WHO?

**A.N. Kk. So! This chapter is dedicated to my Big-Little-Sister and best friend, FutureAuthoress. You may know her as Tessa. ;-D I had REAL TROUBLE trying to get her right. My apologies. I'm bad at that. That's why I'm practicing! :-D Anyways, Hope you guys like the new chapter! And please: REVIEW! It lets me know you're reading! Even if you tell me : 'It sucks', at least I know you took the time to read it!**

/

Sheldon struggled valiantly, but the shorter woman was definitely stronger than he was.

"Erin! Please get off of him?" Leonard asked hopefully, wringing his hands and trying to calculate exactly how to get out of the current situation with Sheldon intact, his niece's feelings unhurt, and without drawing anymore stares than they'd already gotten. Looking around, he realized there were only a couple people eying them. He relaxed slightly. It was a Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention. There were people here WAY more socially inept than them.

Sheldon had stopped struggling and was now attempting logic on the clinging Wonder Woman. "I wasn't aware you were that big of a fan of my work. If you let go of me, I will be able to get enough oxygen to explain some of it to you." He paused, "Not all of it, I'm sure you can understand. Your brain could not process it. My Lord. Leonard cannot even process it."

Erin pulled back a little and gazed at him, trying to stop herself from kissing him. That wouldn't do… yet. She shook herself slightly and replied.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, Sheldon. I'd LOVE to hear your theories! And Uncle Leonard," She looked at him patronizingly. "I'm not a little kid anymore. You don't have to worry about me."

"Uh, yes, I know you're not a kid, Erin." Leonard pointedly did not look at her outfit.

"Okay then!" She chirped, still hanging onto Sheldon's arm with a vise-like grip. Sheldon had given up trying to escape. Even a physicist knew when to give up an impossible task.

Howard was still trying to process how Sheldon was more attractive than him in the eyes of this stunning woman. It just… wasn't right. He made one more attempt to attain her attention.

"So, hello, Erin." He said suavely. "Would you like a tour of the location? I know many of the owners of the booths, not to mention the actors and actresses running around. I even know a place to play Sabacc or Dabo, or any other games you usually can only read about or watch."

He raised his eyebrows, expecting her to be impressed.

She blew him off again and ignored him. She had eyes only for Sheldon. Sheldon had eyes only for the door.

"Penn…uh, I mean, Erin." Sheldon hurriedly covered his slip. She was being as irritating as Penny… if not worse. Sheldon continued. "Wouldn't you like to see the rest of the convention? I'm sure they have many interesting things. As a matter of fact, I've been very hopeful to meet Leonard Nimoy."

"Oh, sure, Sheldon. I've heard they got a bunch of actors! That will be really cool to meet him!"

Howard cut in. "I heard they got Carrie Fisher." He looked around searchingly.

"Carrie Fisher? Really?" Leonard squinted through his glasses. "Isn't she 53? I can't believe they got her!"

"Well, Sheldon. Wanna go in?" Erin had spoken again.

"Certainly. It will be quite interesting to see her again."

"Again? When did you see her before?"

"Erin, I have many contacts in the scientific world." Sheldon looked down at her patronizingly.

Erin raised her eyebrows. "Obviously!"

The group made their way out of the entry way and into the rest of the convention. The people that had been shoving past them were quite relieved.

The convention was brightly lit, with posters and tables everywhere. Supposedly, it was the biggest Sci-Fi convention of the year and it certainly showed. Just glancing around the darkly painted walls and brightly colored outfits, Leonard spotted several actors and actresses that were vaguely familiar.

"Look, guys!" Erin practically screamed. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Who?" Sheldon inquired calmly, peering through the steady stream of bodies. "Leonard Nimoy?" 

"No!" Erin really screamed this time. "He's my friend's favorite actor! Come on!" She dragged Sheldon through the excitable throng, trying to see where she was going.

Sheldon let out a quiet whimper and Leonard led Howard and Raj after their kidnapped friend. Leonard couldn't help feeling a little smug that Sheldon was the one with relationship problems now, good ones, to be sure! He still felt a little justified.

Erin stopped so suddenly that Sheldon thought he got whiplash, and Raj and Howard tripped over Leonard and almost fell on the ground.

Once they had all recovered, Leonard asked rather crabbily, "What is the matter with you?"

Erin pointed excitedly. "It IS him! Look!"

"Woah…" Howard trailed off.

Raj squeaked.

"It can't be." Sheldon announced logically. "He is supposed to be over one hundred miles away, on set for a new film: horror, obviously."

"Nevertheless, I believe that is who it is." Howard said, shaking his head. He shifted his stormtrooper helmet.

The man, approximately as short as Howard, was currently engaged in deep conversation with a slightly taller woman, about the age of 28. She was animatedly discussing something of obviously great import to her. He was deep in concentration, listening to the dark-haired woman, obviously an actor because of his lack of a costume. He was compactly built, had dark hair and looked to be in his early fifties.

The woman, on the other hand was wearing a gold Starfleet uniform and had apparently painted Trill spots along her hair line. Sheldon actually admired the accuracy of the look.

The group moved closer.

"… and that is why I believe Ferengi to be a seriously misunderstood culture. Seriously! They've done pretty well for themselves so far! Humans are fascinated with power, status, and yes, even money! What's wrong with a race that treasures money above all else? Do you see my point? I don't understand why so many races hold them in disregard. They just don't want the better businessmen making them look like fools!"

"Oh. I see." The man said, pondering. Leonard noticed he said it a little formally. It was mild, to be sure, but it was still there.

Erin let go of Sheldon long enough to run up behind the woman. She tapped her on the shoulder and grinned happily.

"Tessa? Is that you?"

"Umm. You look familiar. Who exactly are you?"

"It's Erin! I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Ahem." The man behind Tessa cleared his throat.

"Oh, yes! Erin, let me introduce Jeffrey Combs. You know him, right?"

Erin felt rather faint.

/

**A.N. For those of you who didn't read the top A.N. please review? It really makes my day! I smile for at least ten minutes after I read each one! Seriously! Ask my siblings! Everytime I smile after I post a chapter, my little sister asks me, "Did you get a new review, Vera?"**

**Please, people?**


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